All my life i have struggled with identity and where i belonged in this world. I was always trying to fit in. I was always trying to be who people wanted me to be. I did that so much that i realized that i no longer knew who i was. I thought i knew until a friend pointed out to me that i changed who i was depending on who i was with. He helped me realize that doing this was draining me of all that i had left. I started to look deep into who i thought i was and who people thought i was. I still don't know who i am, but the first step is to realize that you don't. I've done that. It would be wonderful if that was all that i had to do and that i could miraculously become who i am, but i can't. It's a process, as that friend kept telling me. It's not easy. It's tough. Especially after you have established who you are in other people's eyes. It's scary to try to change that impression. However, it's worth it. I've been searching for myself for years and have never found her. One day, i will know who i am.
One day i will also find a place where i actually belong. I've realized over the years that there is no place i will ever feel like i actually belong. I will always feel out of place. I think that comes with being a Christian. I don't belong in the world and I won't truly belong until i leave this world and enter into the gates of Heaven. I suffer with not belonging, but it's also a hope to me that one day i will belong. That "there is a place for us."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpx07kW98fA
Love this post. :)
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